Sleep and angst

I'm not home. Apparently when I'm not home, I don't sleep. Cuz it's.... 2:42, I should be sleeping, and I'm wide awake, typing my first blog. How convenient.


Of course, that's kinda obvious. I just don't want to sleep. How boring... sleeping. I'm surviving on the big brother's cooking and junk food. I'm holed up in a basement and haven't done anything of value for.... 2-3 days. That's a new low hit for me.

If this is what a university student does, I don't want to be a university student. I still have a year to choose, but...... I'm scared of choosing.

I swear this blog won't turn into an angsty stupid emo-fest, despite the black background. It's black because I think that's suave and sophisticated and easier on the eyes. Not cuz I'm emo. That's a promise. If you know me, you'd know I'm not emo.

Here's something hopefully more interesting......

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I have the urge to draw something. I do. I just don't know what. I have a $30 dollar commission of Spock waiting to be finished... and I don't want to work on it. I'm afraid I'll screw Spock up and make the person who asked for the commission, my friends mom, feel bad.

I want to draw, but I never have any ideas. I have one, actually, for a picture, and several story ideas, but I don't have the courage to actually do anything about them. Meh.

In the morning, when I feel less un-energetic, I will do something.

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Today I did nothing. Nothing but read shoujo manga. That's really lame, in my books. I'm actually quite disappointed. I hate shoujo, but there's nothing to read.......... wait. I have a book in my purse that I really wanted to read.

Hallelujah! Thank God I decided to start angsting on this post... I'd have forgotten about that book... I can't wait to read it now! *excited*

My little corner of basement could actually serve me fine as a home as well. I wouldn't feel bad living in a corner for the rest of my life... maybe get a few minutes of sunshine and some room decorations, but other than that... I could live here, easily.

Parents got to Alberta safe apparently... they called, so I'm glad they're safe. They called 4 hours ago, I think... I told them I was getting ready for bed then... and I seriously was ready to. But then the internet distracted me. I'd never be able to work at home... I'd have a computer, and that's all I'd need to distract me from anything.

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Speaking of the computer and distractions, I haven't been delving in God's word ever... and I feel the urge to. If I don't... in my moment of need, I will definitely fall. It's happened too many times before. My Bible is sitting in front of my monitor, so I think I'll pick it up and read. I don't know where to start, so I will start in James. Paul was a smart man, but James is short and sour... I will feel down after reading it, but I definitely feel like reading it. I'll probably learn something VERY useful on the way.

I think I will draw tomorrow.... try to stay away from the computer that sits in my room/corner of basement. NO one knows how late I stay up, and no one really cares here. But that's ok. Well, one person cares, but I think he's asleep. If not, I will not go up to check... cuz then he'll know I'm not asleep.


I feel like picking up my shinai and swinging it... it's been a month. Way too long. I'm going to get rusty. I shall practice, pray, prepare for bed, then read my Bible. Then I will pray again and go to bed. And tomorrow, if there are classes in the afternoon, I may sneak into one. I want to at least once... just for bragging rights. This is a good plan.... but before that, I shall publish. and maybe clean. The desk has mess on it.

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Edit: that was a long post.... I hope they're not all going to be this long... I actually thought it would look shorter... oh well.

Finished my MIT Boot Camp form today... hope I get accepted.

Edit 2: I really think I have no life......... I should really sleep