Yesterday I was hanging in Toronto... driving home with the family after a Yoyoma Concert... that was pretty cool. It was, like, 10pm? maybe later...
There were these three girls running on the sidewalk... all with their straight brown hair loose, all dressed in loose and blank white tops that showed their shoulders, all in skinny jeans of... indeterminate colour (i think they were varying shades of grey), and all in heels. They were all essentially the same height, and it was kind of put-offish how they were essentially clones.
The first thought I had when watching them run by was "LOL Clones" but right afterwards, I wondered what it would be like to belong to something like that. When I brought it up in the car, my mom said something about it being a uniform... but it was a little to trendy to be a uniform, imo. They looked happy, exhilarated even... I was a little disappointed that I won't be able to be like that... just cuz of what I'm like.
I'm individualistic, through and through. People like me buy their clothes where other people usually wouldn't... and they wouldn't get the stuff I get anyways. Internet t-shirts and 'trendy' asian tops/bottoms are anything but normal. Especially when it looks like there's only one in each store. And I don't act like anyone else I know. Sure, I pick up mannerisms from people, just like I'm sure other people do from me (which is weird, cuz it's hard to notice... subtle).
But I've always had this desire to belong just the way I am. But the way I am makes me devoid of belonging with anything but a little group of nerdy guys... they're cool, but just by saying 'guys', I'm not belonging. It's disconcerting. I was told that I had officially reached 'one-of-the-guys'-dom a week ago. I was happy, but wasn't sure what that entailed, since I'm definitely not a guy.
I guess what I really want is just a little place with a small group of girls that I can call 'home'. Just a place where I can belong, where I can be me and still be loved and accepted... by people that are like me. I have several groups of friends that are the first two, but they aren't very like me, and I can tell... I don't mean to, but I often upset their social order just by being me.
I'm not willing to change me, not in the least. But that doesn't stop my from yearning for something else.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Disappointment...? Sometimes I yearn for something else...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
General Knowledge Exams really aren't as scary they're made out to be + Prom Dress?
So... today was D-day for that crazy general knowledge exam mentioned here A total of 6 people showed up to the finalist exams... and 2 scholarships are handed out. That took most of the already-practically-non-existent case of nerves I had off my shoulders.
The questions were a lot more opinion based "why do you want to be a teacher", "what would you do in this case" "show off your knowledge/opinion in an essay" questions, which completely overshadowed the 10 multiple choice questions. Which weren't really that difficult... I had the hardest time with the "What's your greatest accomplishment and why" question... I hate talking about how good I am...
All the questions were surprisingly about stuff that I've recently refreshed myself on, or written a long extensive thing about, or something I've tucked away in my memory because of something important happening. Like there was a question about education and technology. What did I win the Microsoft thing for? And I was talking just the other week to my brother about why the Aztecs all died off... silly Aztecs, lacking their immunity.
Thank God for preparing me for this... :D He really did a great job this time!
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After the exam, I went with my mom to go Prom Dress shopping at Pacific Mall. Fun times! lol, we had lunch at Heritage Town (Watami is closed for renos... has been since yesterday) and then went to where I bought my grad top 5 years ago. Still has pretty clothing :P Bought both my dresses there... but you'll have to jump the cut to see. :D
This dress is nicer than you can see in the picture... It all these pretty sparkly beads on the top layer, and it's all glittery on the bottom layer. and it's really comfy. Dad likes this more than the other one (as do i, since it's comfy), but mom likes the other one cuz it's "more chinese". Which is what I was looking for anyways XD
It's also 2 layers, but lacking the sexy see-through the other one has. Apparently it makes me look younger than above, but i have to suck in/lose waistline to fit XDDDD which is problematic... but I am exercising, so I'm sure it'll be good by June.
I dunno which I'm wearing to prom... I guess this depends on my date. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING J-DATE?? XD
And what do you, oh ambiguous reader, think I should wear?
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The rest of the day was LOOOOOONG and full of sifting through other clothes. i bought one other thing... and I saw something really cute that would look good on J-date, but I didn't get it, since I didn't know if the colour would work XD
Next time, I guess... maybe J-date will come with that day!
Friday, March 13, 2009
So... now I really wanna eat sushi. Or anything for that matter... stupid diet. A Youtube Video is past the cut.
Sushi conveyor belt restaurants are quite common in japan... it's easier to get food to customers, and it's like an all you can eat kinda thing. However, if you sit at the end of the belt, you'll be lacking in sushi to eat... You can also order, of course, and when you do, they send it down your way. Exciting, isn't it?
I really wanna try it :P
Sunday, March 8, 2009
OMGOMGOMGOMG HOW TO STUDY??????!!!!111
So... Scholarships... again XD Only finalist, so far, but...
I have to take a general knowledge exam... next saturday. How the hell do you study for a general knowledge exam? I mean...
It's all... general. and knowledge-y. And there's no specific instructions. I just know I can't bring a dictionary/thesaurus, and I don't need to bring a calculator. So scratch hard math :P And maybe, just for the sake of getting rid of any chances, I should leave my brain at home too
Sad thing is, I'm missing out on a youth retreat for this........ at some new place I'm checking out. The people are nice, though they probably think I'm a creep. No worries, I'll just kinda... stick out like a sore thumb by being the whitest asian in an asian youth group XDDD
I'd blame Wesley for my ability to be a creeper, except I realized today that I was a creeper long before Wesley showed me... and I was a creeper with my camera. XD
NO! NO LEWD PICTURES! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!! I'm just a really good paparazzi...
